Why I don't want to marry?

Let me mention what triggered me to write this. My colleague was informed about a 31 year old lady who was seeking a marriage alliance and my colleague asked me if I am interested in her. Thus evolved the question, “Why I don’t want to marry?” And this write-up can be send as a link to all marriage brokers who come my way and for me, it is an opportunity to liberate a woman and not entangle. If not many, but at least one.

I remember statements of 2 astrologers. One said, “ You will have a love marriage within the coming 3 months.” And after almost a year, I called him and lied, “Brother, your prediction was right. I got married exactly within 3 months.” Another astrologer who was my neighbor adviced me, “Nishant, you must get married. It is the law of nature that Man and Woman must get married. If you decide to remain a bachelor, the lady who was meant to marry you will remain a widow and that curse will lie upon you.” And I was like, what baseless explanations these idiots have. APJ Abdul Kalam, Swami Vivekananda, Sree Narayana Guru, Ramana Maharshi, Lata Mangeshkar, Mother Teresa etc etc never married and we all know what kind of life they led.

I always evaluate life on the basis of bondage and freedom. I always ask, “Will this lead to bondage or freedom?”. As far as am concerned, a married life is all about bondage. A way or path to carry an avoidable extra burden of responsibilities. Those who want to take that responsibility, let them get married and those who don't want to take that responsibility, let them remain single.

So when in the start, I mentioned liberation of a woman. I am 35 years old now. I have witnessed the effort taken by my mother in the upbringing of the family and if I marry someone, then that person has to take the same pain or sacrifice as much as what my mother took. Also, I have a clear idea on what kind of headache I have been for my parents and I don't think I have the same tolerance level as much as what my parents had for me.

My circle of friends who are above my age and are married have always been adamant to claim, “Nishant, no matter what, you should never get married.”

My Spiritual Guru also told me, “Come what may, you should never get married.”

My question is, why cant women chase their dreams instead of leading a married life. I think women are more capable than men and it is just that they are so much oppressed because of this stupid society that most of them are forced to give up in the rat race.

As am writing this, I am reminded of the quote, “All men are not fools, some are bachelors.”

Jokes apart, if there is any woman who has the same thought process as that of mine, who just wants to get married for the name sake, escape the pressure from her family and chase her dreams, the door is always open, as for me marriage is an instrument of extended friendship and not to have a new family. The marriage should be an opportunity for the bride and groom to explore life and excel beyond the senses but not fall prey within the senses.

For me, marriage is an instrument to progress spiritually and it is quite difficult to find such a life partner of the same thought process. Hence, I don't want to marry.

Also, I don't want to be a cause or a reason for a woman to be caged or jailed in the name of marriage. I know the pain involved when it comes to take the responsibility of household activities as I have done the same during my stay in a monastery.